Will you revive from the CHAOS in my mind?

Writer's Block: Reality TV Your Way

2008-08-04T03:56:17Z

If you could make your own reality show, what would it be about and who would be on it?

Wow. That's a hard one. If I could have a reality tv show when I am a rockstar, I would go undercover and work odd-jobs at places where the employer and its many employees do not know of my popularity. Ain't that a cool show? However, if I ain't a rockstar, I would only have a reality show if I enter the media industry as a crew or performer. Hehs. Big dreams.

Media sure is interesting. The controversy surrounding it makes me love it more.

Fascinated by Donald Trump

2008-08-01T07:21:12Z

Dear Journal,

I don't like feeling bloated. It affects my will to do anything and so the laziness grows. Yuck!

I'm fascinated by Mr Trump. So successful because he's so hardworking. Unlike me. He makes a great role model but I do disagree with some of his beliefs. Still, he's great. Plus, even he admits that we should work to the best of our abilities and capabilities. Not everyone can afford a 4hr sleep like him anyways. I need 7 hours at least. Hah.

Oh yeah. Been long since I blogged here. Just to update those curious, I'm recovering from an operation I had about 2 weeks ago I think.

Yeah, I didn't tell anyone that I was warded so if you ask around, don't be surprised that quite many will be shocked to receive the news.

It's alright. nothing biggie. I'm doing okay. Not very well but okay. I'm mentally strong now so yes, I'm okay.

Okay, too much okays.

Well, today is first August and August is my time of the year.

I'm looking forward to a speedy recovery and to the start of a wonderful year!

Hahaha. Yeah, my new year begins every August actually. Heex!

I'm very, very excited! I hope all of you are as excited as me. University life is grand. If you're not in any like me, be just as excited because you have some time to redeem yourself.

A friend of mine lives by a motto which sounds something like: Sometimes in life we cannot get what we want because we are meant for something greater.

And that motto has never let him down.

Perhaps we are meant for something greater than university. Perhaps we have to do more before we can get into university. Whatever it is, don't give up on hope and don't give in to others' dreams.

This life is yours. Take it!

nurul_huda @ 2008-07-07T12:16:00

2008-07-07T04:17:30Z

can you remember the morning
i told you goodbye?

Not tonight...

2008-06-11T16:01:50Z

Tonight is mine to kick back and enjoy myself. Because I need it.

And because you might just need it too.

Maybe I just need a little more courage to stand up for myself.

2008-05-10T14:41:00Z

I don't know why it hurts so much now. I hope it's just the bloody PMS and nothing more. I mean, when everyone was down, I'm always the one who tries to inject hope. Yet, look at my previous post. I gave up on hope.

Then again, hope is meant to be lost to be found again.

Yeah, I did some deep thinking in the course of staying true to myself. You all know how much it matters to me, in staying true to myself.

Hey, hey, don't go all Mulan on me.

I admit I'm tired of going down to get the mail everyday (except Sundays and Public holidays) at 1.30pm without fail recently only to see nothing that represents any one of the universities at least. I especially have thin hope for NTU since the professor has so called warned me that I won't get in.

~~I'm a frigging~~ I was a frigging lit student so I could read between the lines.

Don't get me wrong. I do not harbour any resentment towards the professor who interviewed me. Rather, I would like to thank him.

He took me seriously when I said I wanted to be a rockstar. He asked me what I'm doing in order to achieve that. It's like he really meant business. It's nice to be believed in. Of course, he had his qualms seeing that I'm a nice *ahem* muslim malay girl. Overall, he opened my eyes. I definitely need to do more if I want to be a rockstar.

Hence, I believe it's 99% percent attitude, 1% aspiration.

I'm working on my attitude now. It's hard. Change is difficult but it's imminent and necessary.

Next, I'll be picking up guitar. The course is due to start this 24th May for 12 sessions. I can't wait!

Wow. Just when I thought I've no direction in life and lost my goal, it appears again.

So this is the path I shall take.

I love tarots.

2008-04-23T02:55:18Z

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I took the chance and I'm never looking back.

2008-03-10T14:28:39Z

It's been so long. Updates are essential.

Failed: 1 Passed: 4 (Excluding PW)

At H2 level:
Economics - S
Literature in English - B
Malay Language and Literature - B

At H1 level:
Mathematics - D
General Paper - B

PW has been one heck of a roller-coaster and I am extremely grateful for the B. My group went through so much from internal disputes to last minute screw-ups. I have God to thank for that B.

There you go. I must say I am disappointed. I didn't expect to get an S for econs because I believe I didn't do that badly. Plus, I'm screwed because of that. An E would have allowed me to pass. Thank God for the minimum H2 passes of 2 subjects but my university score would be low and I'm rather at a disadvantage. Anyways, I've always gotten a U for econs. An improvement is indeed seen. I was also rooting for As in lit and gp. My power subject has always been lit and eventhough I've been scoring poorly in gp, there is this confidence in me that makes me believe I can excel in gp. Still, getting a B for gp is a pleasant surprise considering how I screwed myself up for the papers. I risked failing the essay because of limited knowledge and I could not comprehend the comprehension. Thank God for that nice little B. I'm so-so about maths because I didn't prepare myself for it well. Maths has never been my forte so I'm quite used to the borderline pass in maths. The most pleasant surprise is mll. I've been failing my malay lit and I didn't finish the paper so I'm really glad I got a B.

Well, that's all. I'm quite drained. Must be the hiatus that caused me to feel less energetic to blog. Will update about my happy problem tomorrow.

Camp Change Yourself will be in order.